“Mental health examination” would be an oxymoron.
SO! In order to get a bit of practice in, I examined my own mental state the night before writing my first exam paper in NINE YEARS.
Appearance:
- Appropriately maintaining personal hygiene, although exuding the scent of licorice from excess consumption
- Dressed slobbishly in an array of fleece articles
- Hair arranged into knotty pigtails, tangled around headset
Behaviour:
- Nervous and frequently preoccupied with giving attention to anything that is not a textbook or her laptop screen
- Frequently wrings hands and moans miserably (Lady Macbeth delusion?)
- Often wriggles about and cannot seem to sit still on chair
- Constantly gazing toward box of chocolate biscuits in corner of the room, then staring off into space
Thought form:
- Highly distractible
- Exhibiting perseveration, constantly returning to consideration of making self ill by ingesting far too much chocolate, contrasted by sudden expression of desire to “do very well!”
Thought content:
- Obvious delusions of grandeur – see above interest in “doing well”
- Overvalued idea that drinking as many energy drinks as possible prior to sitting exam “must be” helpful
- Phobia of failing exam, perhaps tied to delusions in that “world might end” if a failure mark is achieved
Mood:
- Anxious, characterised by weird breathing, hypervigilance, and badgering of poor boyfriend
Affect:
- Congruent with mood in terms of erraticism and anxiety
- Overly dramatic
Summary:
At risk of driving self and boyfriend unnecessarily bonkers. Possibly only staying sane by tethering self to the promise of a luncheon at delightful Cuccina upon completion of the semester! Consider that a strength.
That’s the most hysterical thing I’ve ever read
Differential diagnosis
1) Narcissistic personality disorder
2) Obsessive compulsive disorder
3) Specific phobia – exams